3.1.13

On being a photographer

Happy happy new year everyone! I hope this will be a blessed year for you, bringing you lots of special moments and new challenges.
I’m not really the kind of person to get into the exaggerated mood of New Year’s Eve and the whole ‘it’s a new year’ thing. For some reason NYE has never been that special to me, and I feel like you could make your personal change anytime of the year. Just because everyone does it on the night of December 31 doesn’t mean you’d have to rethink your life then. But I guess it’s just a date to remind you of reflecting on the past year - and maybe it holds a certain power which motivates you to start something new.

So, I’ve decided today I’d make myself a personal list of goals for 2013. Just a few small things, like being patient for example.
I want to learn to be patient when it comes to what I want to achieve in my life. I know I want to do something creative with my life, earn money through creating. I just don’t know what. This is where the problem lies: I have a whole lot of motivation within me to work hard and to create something I’m really passionate about. I just don’t know what to create. There are about 1 million ideas in my head of what I could do, but I just can’t figure out what will make me happy in the end. Or even if I did I would change my mind after a couple of months. (‘Focus’ - will have to go on my list).

Thinking of photography - when I was back home over Christmas I went for a run one day. Everything looked really beautiful, and I had my phone with me, so I could easily take a picture. But I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to get my phone out, stop for a few seconds just to take a photo. I just wanted to enjoy what was there, without feeling the urge to document it.
I managed to not take a photo the first time I felt like it. But after running for a while and seeing more pretty things I could photograph I couldn’t help myself but stop and finally take that picture.
I’m sure some of you might know that feeling of missing out on a picture when you don’t take it, the urge of getting out your camera every time your eye sees something interesting or beautiful.
But on the other hand you just want to enjoy the moment, and see it with your own eyes, not through your camera’s lens. Sometimes I don’t want to be a photographer.

Well, makes me think if maybe I should go back to old-school and get a phone without camera.
And it also makes me think about what it is that I want to do. I know I should probably just focus and go with one idea. I do feel scared at that thought, though. Because I know I keep changing my mind, that’s what’s been happening for the last few years. There are too many things I love doing and I can never stick to one thing.
So how do you even focus?
Any tips on that, guys? Have you been in a similar situation before? I would appreciate any of your thoughts!

P.S. Maybe being patient is the key. Must be on that list for a reason. Waiting for everything to work out its own way.

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